Bring Back the Snowpocalypse!
I absolutely love where I live. I love having four seasons (five if you count mud season), but I abhor the fact that we no longer get enough snow. Sure, we’ll get a dusting here and there, maybe a couple of feet, but it’s gone as quickly as it comes—like a bad ex who only sticks around long enough to ruin your plans.
I yearn for the days when snow was abundant, and we could build forts and tunnels through it. When attempting a 10-foot snowman wasn’t just a fleeting dream but a full-day engineering project that ended in either exhaustion or a minor injury. Nothing built character quite like stacking three massive snow boulders, realizing we couldn’t lift the middle one, and resorting to some highly questionable teamwork strategies. And heaven help us if we actually got the torso in place—because then, the real struggle began. How does one attach a head when their arms are three feet too short? Spoiler: they don’t.
We used to have real snow days. Now? Now, schools close because “it’s too damn cold for kids to wait for the bus.” What happened to layering up and braving the elements? The last great snowman my family built was a decade ago at my mom’s house. It had oranges for eyes and a pickle for a nose—an artistic choice that left my oldest niece devastated when she realized she couldn’t eat it.
I love the snow. It’s my trade-off for tolerating bone-chilling temperatures. But where is it?! I want a winter wonderland, dang it!
The “I Don’t Want To” Syndrome
The only thing these frigid temperatures bring is a bad case of the “I don’t want tos.”
I don’t want to walk. It’s 32 degrees! What if Odin’s poor little paws freeze to the ice-slicked road? What if I slip and fall, leaving some kindhearted but deeply regretting-their-life-choices motorist with the task of hoisting my upside-down, road-cone-shaped self back to my feet? How embarrassing.
And worst of all—what if my feet get cold? Because if my feet get cold, it’s game over. I can push through freezing cheeks, nose, and fingers, but cold feet? That’s my personal shutdown button. There is no coming back from that. I will simply cease to function, much like a phone battery that instantly dies at 20% in the cold.
Aisle 5 Cardio: Fitness, But Make It Walmart
Friday night, I had to take Evelynn to her all-star cheer practice (her car is broken down), and I had to get my walk in. So, like any resourceful and slightly ridiculous person, I did my work out walk inside Walmart. Yes, Walmart.
Slow walking, fast walking, very fast walking—I even dodged a few actual shoppers like I was in an obstacle course. I got some weird looks and had a couple of near-miss collisions with unsuspecting cart-pushers, but you know what? I enjoyed it. Honestly, I wished Odin had been with me. If I had a dollar for every non-service dog I’ve seen in Walmart, I could probably buy another mini-pack of Crumbl cookies so his presence wouldn’t have turned any heads.
This isn’t my first time treating a store like my personal track. I’ve logged a mile in a local grocery store before—multiple times. One time, a couple of checkout ladies even started cheering my friend and me on when they realized we weren’t just indecisive shoppers but speed-walking champions in the making.
Pro tip: If it’s too cold, wet, or snowy outside, hit up the biggest store in town and walk laps. Bonus—you’ll also learn where everything is located. Am I a pro after almost a month of daily walks? Maybe. Someone get me a trophy.
Cheering and Circles: The Competitive Side of Life
Yesterday was a cheer competition, and my walk was… less exciting. I walked outside on the host school’s track—just me, my thoughts, and an endless loop of left turns. It was boring, but at least I could easily track my distance on the quarter-mile loop.
The team? Absolutely crushed it, as usual. They put on flawless performances and had a solid cheering section packed into the stands. The middle school cheer team even rode with them to offer support—a genius move. Built-in hype squad and a sneak peek of what’s ahead if they stick with it.
Their competition stepped up their game this time, so our team only took first place for their Show routine, with their Sideline routine missing first by just one point. ONE POINT! They’ll get it back. And let’s be honest, winning on their biggest rival’s home turf in the next couple of weeks? That would be chef’s kiss perfection.
The Crumbl Cookie Debrief: A Tale of Three Choices
Oh! I almost forgot—the most important part of the day.
After the comp, I made the obligatory pilgrimage to Crumbl. The lineup wasn’t the greatest, but did I still roll through the drive-thru like the cookie-loving queen I am? Absolutely.
I got the mini 3-pack—one for me, one for Alexis, and one for Evelynn. And after careful taste-testing (a.k.a. taking bites of everyone’s), I can confidently say that my choice was the best.
Mom’s Recipe—a glorious mix of everything good in life, all packed into a soft, chewy oatmeal cookie base. No raisins, because I have standards.
Evelynn, bless her heart, regretted her choice. She went with the banana bread cookie, which was slightly underbaked and mushy. Good flavor, questionable texture. Alexis picked the Confetti Cake cookie—basically a sugar cookie with pink vanilla frosting and sprinkles. It was solid, but still no match for my superior selection.
Best part? I didn’t gain weight from my cookie indulgence, and my blood sugar didn’t launch into the stratosphere. I must be doing something right.
What’s Next?
For now, I’ll leave you with this:
- Will I brave the cold for a walk today, or will I let the WalkFit app pick my fate with one of their other work out options?
- Will Odin ever forgive me for walking Walmart without him?
- And most importantly, will Crumbl’s lineup be better next week?
Oh, and I’m also going to be making crackers with cottage cheese (trust me, it’s actually good). Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.
Until next time—stay warm, keep walking, and may your cookies always be worth the calories.
Cheers,
Tara Ann